I Need To Love Myself – Self Love And Self Care Tips

I need to love myself more. Is this a thought you’ve ever had? Self love and self care are two things that I am working on this year – I will be the first to admit that. As a mom of three, I can tell you that I’ve never put myself on the top of my personal list and I recognize that things need to change if I want to survive what’s ahead of me.

I Need To Love Myself

My children are getting older which means that I can finally start focusing on what I need – spiritually, mentally, and physically. I have been drained the last two decades of just about everything… but I wouldn’t change a thing. I created such beautiful things – my family, my children, my career. But now it’s time to refocus and recenter and I can only do that with self love and self care.

I Need To Love Myself – Self Love And Self Care Tips

Are you feeling the same way I am? Do you think, “I need to love myself more?” when you are alone in your thoughts?

The first step towards self love and acceptance is to recognize that you are running on empty and that you need to take time for yourself. This is a hard thing to admit out loud. Be proud that you searched this topic because you are on a path of discovery and healing which means you are on a journey of positivity. 

Here are several ways you can begin today working towards self love and self care.  I hope you read this entire article. Marinade in the ideas and take what you want. I need to love myself more and I know these are the steps to do it.

Related: 50 Simple Pleasures in Life To Brighten Your Day

self love and self care

Schedule Alone Time

Have you ever thought to yourself, ” I Need A Break Because I’m Losing It“? I’ve been there. No, literally. Go and read that post. When I get to the point of implosion, I know what I need to do. I grab my things, head to a coffee shop, pop in my earbuds, and get to work. 

I drive far away from my house – somewhere that I know I won’t run into anyone I know. During one of these breaking points, I don’t want to meet up friends.  I just need to be alone. And don’t get it confused – being alone is not being lonely.

There is a difference. I’m not lonely when I am sitting by myself working and drinking my favorite tea. In fact, I am blissfully enjoying my personal space. 

I am joyfully alone. For a mom, alone time is critical. For a woman, alone time is critical. For a human, alone time is critical. But we all know that no matter what hat you wear, alone time is hard to carve out of a daily schedule. We are needed and pulled in so many directions. But this is a necessary evil. 

I call it my reset. Maybe it’s because I’m an only child. Maybe it’s because I grew up in the quiet and now I’m surrounded by three beautiful but rambunctious children.

I can’t tell you the why, but I just know that when I step away for a few hours, I come back revived and that benefits everyone in my life. I need to love myself more and that all begins in the quiet. 

Related: Daily Self Care Checklist

relax for self love

Rest And Relaxation

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If you are trying to figure out how to love yourself more, it starts in the bedroom. Are you getting enough rest? This is super important when it comes to self love and self care.

If you don’t know where to start with this subject, begin with this post – How To Sleep Better – Tips For Restless Mind. I really got into it because I have a brain that just won’t shut up. 

But getting a good night’s rest begins with choosing to find the time to squeeze it in. You need to sleep because sleep is the most important thing a stressful woman needs. Self-care begins with ground zero. Rest. 

This could start with a twenty-minute nap whenever you can grab one. Or just put your head down for ten minutes and close your eyes and empty your mind once a day. But you and I both know that we need you to work up to a full 8-hours of zzzs at night. That’s the true goal. 

When you finish your day, call it quits nice and early for a while. You need to catch up on rest. Exhaustion adds up. Make no mistake. Self love and self care can fix this.

I use a sound machine and it is glorious. It helps me not focus on anything else. I listen to the rain and the rain is so very powerful. It’s cleansing. 

vitamins

Vitamins and Nutrition

Girl, I love a good donut. I really do. Like in a major way. But there is no kale in donuts. And don’t tell me about some weird a$$ shop in LA that pours kale pollen all over their donuts before they serve their glazed donuts to their customers, because I’m not having it. You know what I’m saying here. 

Vitamins, nutrients, protein, fruits, veggies – oh my. What are you serving her? Your body? What are you fueling yourself with? It is sustaining your mind and your soul? Is it good for your heart?

I mean that both figuratively and literally. I need to love myself more and that means moderation.

friendships

Friendships Are Critical

I am someone that isolates herself a lot. This is odd because I am actually pretty outgoing.

I love to have a good time. I love to spend time with friends, but when push comes to shove, I just want to watch movies with my husband. Especially after a very long day at work. 

This is not the best idea. Not for your mental state. We need stimulation from a variety of sources. I love my husband. Believe me, I do! But I need my friends and I need them often.  

A girlfriend offers so much to a soul when it comes to self love and self care. So, get out there, grab your best friend and have a great time. Here’s a list of fun things you two can do together. Make it count! In fact, I would argue that friends teach you how to love yourself more. 

drawing class

Hobbies and Passions 

I cannot reiterate this enough. We all need hobbies and passions outside of our marriages, jobs, children’s lives, etc. They have to be our own. They have to be something that just belongs to US and they have to bring us pure joy. 

Can you name a passion that you have that sounds like that? If not, then you have some work to do. Find your passion. Is it writing? Is it drawing? Is it beer tasting? Is it art? Is it cooking? Is it sudoku? Name your poison! 

If you are wondering what my passion is, click here. I do this all for myself and I love it. It only makes sense for me, and it is completely MINE. 

Keep An Organized House 

Hear me out. Chaos breeds chaos. A disorganized house can leave you frazzled and stressed. How do I know this? Because I can physically see a difference when I walk into a house that is upside down.

I beg my family to understand this about me. I beg them to honor this request, but sometimes it’s not always heard. Well, in order to put my needs first, I need to make this a priority. Think about if you need this, too.

Our environments often reflect what is happening internally. Does your house represent your mental state? If it is messy because you are overwhelmed, then start by cleaning up what you can. It just might help remove some of your burdens. 

Related: Speed Cleaner Tips

How Do People Treat You?

Do you want to know how to love yourself more? Teach people how to treat you properly. Don’t let people walk all over you. That is self love and self care 101!

Recognize the way you let people speak to you, push you over, take advantage of you, misuse your time. Know your worth. This is easier said than done.

For now, just become aware of how certain people make you feel. Once you do, you can either make your circle smaller or completely change it. How to love yourself more is to surround yourself with people that love you back. 

are you happy

Are You Happy? Do You Love What You Do? 

Ask yourself the tough question. The one only you can answer – are you happy? No, seriously. I’m not talking about that photo you uploaded on Instagram with the big smile and with the hashtag blessed.

I mean… when you are alone at night, in the dark, right before you close your eyes and you take your last huge exhale, do you feel joy? If not, what can you do to change the situation? What do you have control of?

When was the last time you did something for yourself? Just yourself? Truly – just for you? Not because it was expected of you. Not because the calendar told you that you had to be somewhere, but because your heart drove you there?  This is the definition of self love and self care.

How can you make yourself happy? What small tweaks can you do to your life right now to bring a little joy to your life? Do them. 

Self Love And Self Care – A Special Section Just For Moms

Can you love someone if you don’t love yourself?

This is a great question. Some would argue that you cannot give yourself fully over to someone else unless you have self love and self care figured out. And I tend to agree. Before you worry about loving anybody else – you must learn to love yourself. After all, you are stuck with her for the rest of your life.

How do you begin to love yourself?

If, after this entire post, you still feel like you don’t know where to begin with loving yourself – start with forgiveness. Is there something you are holding onto from the past that has happened to you that you are blaming yourself for? Let that go.

We carry the heaviest loads sometimes. I go to church every Sunday and during the opening of every mass, my pastor always forgives everyone – immediately. And in that moment, I always stop myself from crying. Because I still – to this day – hold onto all the hurt that has happened to me in my life. Things that are not my fault but that have been done TO ME.

And I know that they are not my fault because I am a smart woman, but still I CARRY THEM. Maybe because most of them happened to me when I was much younger. I was imprinted with hurt as a child. And so, I have a hard time loving myself because of the hurt and the guilt for things that are not even mine to carry. But yet.. I still do. Because I am human.

My struggle and my attempt to love myself more these days is to work on letting go of the guilt and the hurt. I need to love myself more and I acknowledge that if I just let go of the hurt… I will lighten my soul. Does this speak to you?

What do you do when you don’t love yourself?

Acknowledge that you don’t love yourself. This is the first step. Then. SHOUT – I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF MORE because self care and self love are everything when it comes to mending a soul. Finally, take every single day slowly. When you catch yourself in a negative thought, shut that thought down.

Related: 30 Day Positivity Challenge

Why do I need to love myself?

Why do you need to love yourself? Plain and simple – because you deserve it.

self care tips for the new mom

I Need To Love Myself – Share Your Tips

Well, what do you think about this self love and self care journey? Pay attention to your mental health, thoughts and feelings, and start to feel good about yourself!

I know I need to love myself more. I am no fool! I hope this post does you some good. Have any of these tips taught you how to love yourself more? I hope so! If you have any that you’d like to share, please comment below. 

About Vera Sweeney

Vera Sweeney – mom, blogger, and New York resident – is the founder of Lady and the Blog. Her main focus is to help busy women stay on top of the latest style, culinary, and parenting trends.

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