40 Things I Learned About Myself Over The Last Two Years

There are so many different things that I learned about myself as I navigated through the pandemic, all while discovering how it affected me personally. Despite the struggles, I truly believe I came out on the other side whole, with a slew of new life lessons.

I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on all of the ups and downs while fighting against the emotional rollercoaster I’d been unwillingly strapped into. And you know what? As I enjoy watching the track burn from the distance, I guess I can admit that I did enjoy the experience … now that my feet are on solid ground.

40 Things I Learned About Myself Over The Last Two Years

1. I fall apart without my planner.
2. I am stronger than I think.
3. I am weaker than I think.
4. I legitimately want to be with my husband for the rest of my life.
5. Reddit is the Internet. I don’t know what I would do all day with my downtime without that app. No, you can’t have my username.
6. Sexy underware makes you feel pretty. That’s all it takes.
7. Fight for what you believe in.
8. Stop fighting for everything that doesn’t matter or that you cannot change.
9. Acknowledge what is truly in your control and stop driving yourself crazy about the rest.
10. Your shit is not my shit.
11. Alone time with my husband is very important. Alone time with my kids is very important.
12. Horror movies and Korean anything = IT. Everything else doesn’t matter.
13. I am addicted to food and managing a healthy lifestyle is probably the hardest thing I will ever do. Working towards a better life will forever be a struggle that I am willing to power through.
14. Managing friendships takes effort as an adult.
15. Travel was more than a hobby for me. I mourned the loss of those experiences over the last few years. I will absolutely make a huge effort to get back on that horse as soon as I’m comfortable.
16. Cuddling with my husband on a regular basis is critical for my marriage.
17. Playing music while I’m working is good for my soul.
18. Showering with girly pamering things is a form of self-care that was sold to women to make money for skincare companies, but I am here for it. I want all the things when I am steaming up behind the curtain. I need them.
19. Slippers make me happy.
20. Not posting on Facebook for over two years was the best decision! I will never go back to that routine. Buh-BYE.
21. TikTok is a real learning device if you engage with the right kind of videos. I’ve learned so much about fitness over that last few months. Obsessed. I’m better because of it.
22. I don’t want to do certain things anymore for work – so I won’t. I’m better because of it.
23. I need devices that manage me – like my Apple Watch and apps that tell me when my period is coming. They help me get through my life. That’s ok.
24. I don’t want to work myself to ground anymore – so I won’t.
25. Even though I set goals for myself, I don’t always have to hit them. If it’s not my time, then I can wait a bit. Life is not just about hitting goals. I want to enjoy the process. I’m tired of RUNNING.
26. Speaking of running, I love walking and lifting and stretching. Working out isn’t that bad.
27. Micromanaging myself is the only way I can get anything done.
28. I absolutely love to cook and my passion for a great meal is affecting my weight, but I won’t sacrifice my casseroles.
29. It’s ok to just sit on the couch. It’s ok to take a nap in the middle of the day. It’s ok.
30. When I stopped caring about the numbers, the numbers turned in my favor. This could also have been two years of prior work finally catching up. I’m not so sure about this one.
31. It’s ok to hire help. I finally hired a wonderful woman to help me make PINs every week and I want to think of a million different things to give her. I CANNOT do it all, but I want to. I need to get better at giving up control.
32. My husband is a good man. I always knew he was, but I fell pretty hard over the last two years and he was always there to let me cry. I mean this. I see him entirely different now. I see him with adult eyes if this make sense.
33. I don’t need everyone to like me. In fact, I couldn’t care less about 90% of the people I actually know. I like my circles small.
34. I cannot fix everything for my kids. I cannot curate everything for my kids. They have to fall and make mistakes on their own.
35. My love language is touch. My husband’s love language is service. This causes conflict for me sometimes because he isn’t as physical with me as I’d like. I finally learned to not take it so personally that he doesn’t constantly hug or kiss me. That’s not him, naturally. He tries and I appreciate that so much. But I can’t judge him by my bar because my bar is in the looney bin. I’m over the top. I finally see this.
36. I’m already done. I’ve gotten there. I am enough. I have arrived. I don’t feel the need to strive for MORE. The feeling of being content is amazing.
37. Everything that happened to me in the past were not all lessons. Some of them were just messed up experiences that I have to live with. And I don’t have to forgive the people who wronged me. This is the hardest part of church for me. Sometimes I don’t feel worthy because I know I’m sitting there not forgiving so many people for how they did me wrong. I know I should. I know it’s the Christian thing to do… but F them and I’m standing firm on that. I don’t care what is being preached to me. It took me a long time to get to this thought and to get over the GUILT I felt every Sunday over this. I WAS HURT and I SHOULD be OK to PROTECT MYSELF from that HURT. So no… I will not forgive. Jesus is better than me.
38. We have to be fluid – all our family decisions. Nothing is final. If you just accept this, then there will be less disappointments.
39. I am not my job. This was a BIG ONE. For decades, I self-defined with my job and when that was taken away from me, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I even went to THERAPY! I have broken free of this, finally.
40. I am a morning person and that’s ok. I start crashing around 8 or 9. So, most heavy lifting has to be done EARLY.
41. I hate running errands. Instacart and curbside pickup = life. I might pay more, but my sanity is worth it.

Have you taken the time to reflect on the last few years and see how you’ve changed? What stands out for you?

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