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Funny Soccer Jokes For Kids

Sports jokes are best made with a bad soccer announcer’s voice. Grab a few young athletes and test out these soccer jokes for kids. 

funny soccer jokes for kids

Funny Soccer Jokes For Kids

Usually, when it comes to soccer, the conversation revolves around Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo. But why not change things up and offer these hilarious soccer jokes instead? You could also print out a funny book with them all. 

During the next sunny day, after a grueling match with the home team, grab a bunch of people and showcase the best soccer jokes on the internet. I might be overselling, but that’s ok. Just have a sense of humor and roll with it. 

soccer humor

Here are fun soccer jokes for kids:

  1. Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
    • Because she always runs away from the ball!
  2. What is a ghost’s favorite soccer position?
    • Ghoulkeeper!
  3. How do soccer players stay cool during a game?
    • They stand near the fans!
  4. Why was the soccer field always so hot?
    • Because all the fans left!
  5. What’s a soccer player’s favorite color?
    • Goal-den!
  6. Why did the soccer player take a pencil to bed?
    • To draw the curtains!
  7. How do you know if a soccer player is good at math?
    • They always know how to count their goals!
  8. Why did the soccer player sit on the bench and knit?
    • Because they wanted to tie the game!
  9. What kind of tea do soccer players drink?
    • Penal-tea!
  10. Why did the soccer player go to the bank?
    • To get his quarter back!
  11. How do soccer players greet each other?
    • With a soccer salute!
  12. What do you get when you cross a soccer player with a computer?
    • A net-worker!
  13. Why was the soccer player upset on the airplane?
    • Because he was getting too many penalties in the air!
  14. What does a soccer player say when they lose their eyesight?
    • “I can’t see the goal anymore!”
  15. Why do soccer players do well in school?
    • Because they know how to use their heads!
  16. What do you call a dinosaur playing soccer?
    • A soccer-saurus!
  17. Why did the soccer ball go to the party alone?
    • Because it was looking for a kick!
  18. How do soccer players stay in touch?
    • They use goal posts!
  19. Why did the soccer coach go to the bank?
    • To get his team’s balance back!

With the right attitude, a good joke goes a long way. Here are 10 soccer jokes about players. Should I say American football at some point?

  1. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
    • So he could tie the score!
  2. Why can’t soccer players eat before games?
    • Because they might get a goal ache!
  3. Why was the soccer player always calm?
    • Because he knew how to keep his cool under pressure!
  4. Why did the soccer player take music lessons?
    • To improve his pitch!
  5. What did the soccer player say to the vending machine?
    • “I want my quarterback!”
  6. Why was the soccer player good at math?
    • He knew how to calculate all the angles!
  7. Why did the soccer player go to jail?
    • Because he couldn’t stop kicking the habit!
  8. What do you call a soccer player who likes to party?
    • A goal-digger!
  9. Why did the soccer player bring a ladder to the game?
    • To reach the high scores!
  10. Why did the soccer player get good grades?
    • Because he always kept his goals in mind!
soccer referee humor

5 funny soccer jokes about soccer referees:

  1. Why did the soccer referee go to art school?
    • Because he wanted to learn how to draw the line!
  2. Why was the soccer referee always calm?
    • Because he could always blow off steam with his whistle!
  3. Why did the soccer referee get promoted?
    • Because he knew how to take control of the field!
  4. Why do soccer referees never get lost?
    • Because they always follow the rules!
  5. What do you call a soccer referee who sleeps well?
    • A sound official!

Good soccer jokes become great soccer jokes with the right attitude. Give these funny jokes your ALL! 

Here are 10 knock-knock jokes about soccer:

  1. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Goal.
    • Goal who?
    • Goal-ing to the soccer game tonight?
  2. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Annette.
    • Annette who?
    • Annette goal!
  3. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Soc.
    • Soc who?
    • Soccer you excited to play?
  4. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Otto.
    • Otto who?
    • Otto-matic goal scorer!
  5. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Ben.
    • Ben who?
    • Ben practicing my soccer skills!
  6. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Max.
    • Max who?
    • Max-imum effort on the field!
  7. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Drew.
    • Drew who?
    • Drew the game into overtime!
  8. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Perry.
    • Perry who?
    • Perry-dise for soccer fans!
  9. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Willie.
    • Willie who?
    • Willie you play soccer with me?
  10. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Kicks.
    • Kicks who?
    • Kicks off the soccer season with a smile!

Get a bunch of soccer fans together and have a few laughs over their favorite sport. It truly is a beautiful game. I have a soccer player myself!

We’ve been proud owners of a soccer uniform for over 10 years and have visited a soccer stadium or two over the years. I hope you enjoy these great soccer jokes. Kids of all ages will approve. No yellow cards needs. 

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