The Truth: How I Feel While Watching Reality Shows


Reality shows.

I’m not talking about the Real Housewives of XYZ , The Bachelor or any sort of Kardashian spin-off. If you don’t know that those shows are heavily scripted by now, I can’t help you. I’m talking about the ones that show a darker side of humanity. The under belly. The addictions. Those habits that fill people with shame.

Hoarders would be one of them. A prime example in fact. Sometimes I question why I watch these kinds of shows? Today – I figured out the answer.

Earlier in the morning, I was watching a news conference with major heads of state and I felt like I was being lied to – over and over again. I felt like I was watching something that wasn’t real- that was produced. Yes, the news. Prewritten words to comfort the public or to rouse up the public – it was all a game and depending on what side you were on determined your mood. I felt betrayed by the system.

And so, I changed the channel and it automatically fell on Hoarders. I saw the name, opted in and placed my remote down. My selection was made.

This particular episode was brutal. An abusive man unable to part with his “stuff” and a girlfriend who refused to leave – no matter how poorly she was treated. I looked at her and wondered what she had to gain by being in that house? I looked at him and wondered what sort of comfort that mess offered him? I also wondered why he was in so much pain. I even wondered if the doctor believed she was actually treating anyone in the series. Hoarding is no joke. I’m not sure many people can break that cycle. I know a few people that are actual hoarders. I don’t think there’s an off switch – sorry to sound so cynical, but I’m not sure it can all be fixed in 60 edited minutes or less.

And while I was thinking about all these people on my screen, I realized what was actually happening – why I chose Hoarders over the news.

These people were showing their most honest selves. No masks. No facades. They were ugly – their demons. It didn’t matter. It was all right there for me to consume. And you know what? It was refreshing because it was real. I watch Hoarders not because I am fascinated with filth or clutter, but because I can finally watch a human being who is truly being honest about who they are as a person.

The Internet and its filters. The Internet and its daily updates about how much we love our husbands and our children with their perfect grades and their new soccer championship trophies. The Internet with our perfect travel photos and our delicious salads for dinner. The Internet and the grandest lie of all – we are the true pretenders.

But not these reality show guests. They appear in their rawest form and my soul aches for it.

When posting online, I take pride in showcasing more reality than facade online. Yes, I post the perfect shots but I also talk about my downfalls and quite often. I never want¬†anyone to ever look at my Facebook profile and think that I am all full of it. See me as I am. Broken, twisted…but made whole again. Humor lives in these kind of people. The dark tends to bring out laughter. How else can you survive it?

So, why do I watch shows about addictions and family troubles and therapy and hoarders? Not to poke fun. ¬†Not to ridicule. I truly just want to remember what it looks like to be honest again — in true form. An art that has been lost in a day and age where who can get the most likes has become a sport.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go put on a ton of makeup to do my daily outfit fashion post. The lighting is jus right in my living room. My Instagram feed is lacking…..


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