I had another birthday. I guess things like that happen to us humans and no matter how hard we try, we can’t stop them! It’s ok. I had a hard time with 30, but after that, I haven’t cared much about THE N-U-M-B-E-R. I mean, if I am being really honest with you, I feel really good about where I am in my life. I have a house, a family, and a job that I love. I am not sure there is anything else that I need at this point.
When I turned 40, I thought that something big was going to happen to my body and my mind. I thought that I would gain 15 pounds and my nose would fall off. I don’t know… these women and their rumors. Metabolism, exhaustion, my mental state of mind in a collapse. PLEASE – I’ve BEEN THERE, PEOPLE! Nothing changed. I’ve been exhausted since 2005. No big swing for me. So, I wasn’t shocked when 41 felt exactly the same as 40 and 39 and 38 and… well, you catch my drift.
But I suppose 41 did teach me a LITTLE something. It taught me that I don’t need the big party or the trip to Paris. Well….. I mean, I wouldn’t MIND the big trip to Paris. But I don’t NEED the big trip to Paris. LOL!
On Friday night, a few friends pulled together an impromptu night out for me. 4 couples hit up a speakeasy in town. It was a place that I always wanted to visit. Right in my neck of the woods and I thought it was so nice that all this planning was happening on my part. But as the time crept closer to our scheduled departure, I looked at my husband and told him that I really didn’t want to go out. That, instead, I’d much rather lay in bed with him and rent a movie. Do nothing. Be with my man. And I think that spoke volumes about age and love and where I am in my life.
So, I suppose 41 did teach me a thing or two.
We did end up going out because it would have been rude to stay home. But in my heart, I just needed him. On my birthday, I just needed something I already had. I didn’t need diamonds or trips or surprise blowouts. I just needed to feel my man by my side and to hear him tell me that he loves me.
And that was the greatest gift of all.
We sat at the bar and we had a really fun time out. I am blessed to have great friends. We laughed and drank and ate and bonded. I recognized – again – how blessed I was to have found such friendships at an old age. I saw it all. I saw those women for who they were. If I needed something – truly needed something – they would help me and I FELT IT. It wasn’t about the cider. It was about the fact that they did this special little thing for me – when I didn’t ask for it. Or deserve it. And even in that moment, I felt so very humble and full.
So, 41 has given me something I suppose. A clarity of sorts. I no longer crave the big moments. The bashes. The escapes. I crave true friendship, trust, real women who truly love me and I have it. I have those things. I have it in their husbands as well. Some of their husbands I consider my best friends. And they know it.
The celebrating didn’t stop there, either. On Sunday, we spent the day with my family because so many of us are born around the same time. My husband and I share the same birthday. Do you know that? He is a year older than me – but regardless – it is OUR day. Never MY day. And as an only child that is annoying. Just kidding. No, I’m not.
Originally, we had plans to go out to eat, but my grandmother is not doing well. She had a stroke a few years ago and thankfully recovered. However, the last few months, she has regressed quite a bit and is now seeing things again and hallucinating. It can be very confusing for her and so it was decided that it would be best to celebrate at home – in my old childhood house. And it worked out just fine.
Here we are – the winter birthday crew!
I hope that 41 treats me kindly. I will try to do the same to others. I have a feeling that this year you will see me slowing down a bit and grounding myself. I had a great time in my 40s, but now I just want to watch my children enjoy their ride for a while.