I recently bought a little Coraline Other Mother figurine. It is completely unnecessary and absolutely adorable. I saw it and immediately wanted it, so I bought it. As I looked at it sitting in my house, I started thinking about how much we talk about growing older, as if it means we are supposed to grow out of the things that once brought us joy.
But why?
Why does turning 40, 45, 48, or 50 mean we suddenly have to take everything more seriously? Why do we assume that being a grown woman means we should stop collecting little things we love, wearing silly hats, getting excited about fictional characters, or doing anything that might be considered a little bit whimsical?
I am firmly in the camp that says we don’t have to. In fact, I think embracing your inner child in your 40s can be one of the most enjoyable parts of getting older.
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Growing Older Doesn’t Mean Growing Out of the Things You Love
By the time we reach our 40s, most of us have built an impressive list of responsibilities. We have spent years taking care of children, spouses, careers, homes, parents, finances, and everyone else’s schedules. Something always needs to be done, and there is rarely a shortage of reasons to put ourselves at the bottom of the list.
Somewhere in all of that responsibility, though, it can become easy to forget about the parts of ourselves that simply like to have fun.
I don’t mean that we need to behave like children or pretend we’re still 20. There is a big difference between being childish and being childlike. Being childlike means staying curious, imaginative, playful, enthusiastic, and open to doing something simply because it makes you happy. Those aren’t qualities we need to abandon as we get older. If anything, they are qualities worth protecting.
My little Coraline figurine won’t change my life. It doesn’t serve a practical purpose. I don’t need it sitting on a shelf at home. But every time I look at it, I smile. And honestly, sometimes that is a perfectly good reason to own something.
We Need More Things That Bring Us Joy
I have a vision board, too. I enjoy putting together pictures and ideas that represent what I want to experience, where I want to go, and the life I want to create. Will a vision board magically make everything happen? Of course not. But the process of dreaming and thinking about what I want next makes me happy, and I think it has value.
How To Create A Vision Board For Manifestation
When I was in Japan, I bought a Disney hat with ears and wore it around. Could I have walked around Japan without Disney ears? Obviously. Did I care that I was a grown woman wearing them? Not particularly. I was having fun.
Those are the moments I think we should pay more attention to as we get older.
Finding joy in your 40s doesn’t necessarily mean making dramatic changes to your life. Sometimes it means giving yourself permission to enjoy the small things you might otherwise dismiss as silly or unnecessary. Maybe it’s buying the figurine, making the vision board, wearing the outfit that feels a little more fun than usual, going somewhere because it looks interesting, decorating your home in a way that makes you smile, or getting completely obsessed with something simply because you love it.
- Not everything has to be productive.
- Not everything has to contribute to your career.
- Not everything has to improve your health, finances, home, or future.
- Some things can just make you happy.
Stop Worrying So Much About Whether Something Is “Age Appropriate”
I think women in particular get a lot of messaging about how we are supposed to behave as we get older. An invisible set of rules dictates what we should wear, what we should like, how we should decorate our homes, what we should be interested in, and what is considered appropriate for our age.
At some point, I’d like to retire the idea that everything we do has to pass an age-appropriateness test.
If something makes you happy and isn’t hurting anyone, why does it matter if someone else thinks it’s too young, too silly, too weird, or too unconventional? Even if it’s Roblox.
One of the best things about getting older is that you hopefully become more comfortable with yourself. You start to understand your personality, your preferences, and what genuinely makes you happy. You don’t necessarily need the same validation you needed when you were younger.
That can be incredibly freeing.
I don’t need everyone to understand why I wanted a Coraline figurine. I don’t need someone else to think my Disney ears were fashionable. I don’t need my vision board to make sense to anyone other than me.
They’re mine. I enjoy them. That’s enough.
Your 40s Are a Good Time to Rediscover the Parts of Yourself You’ve Put Away
Midlife can be an interesting period of self-discovery because so much of our identity has often been built around other people. For years, you may have been someone’s mom, wife, daughter, employee, or the person who keeps the entire household running.
Then the kids get older. Your career changes. Your priorities shift. Your friendships evolve. You start thinking about what you want the next decade of your life to look like.
And sometimes that process brings you back to yourself.
What did you used to love? What makes you laugh? What are you curious about? What would you try if you weren’t worried about looking ridiculous? What little things make you feel excited?
Those questions are worth asking.
Maybe your answer is travel. Maybe it’s fashion. Maybe it’s collecting something, going to concerts, reading fantasy novels, decorating, baking, playing games, taking photographs, painting, watching old movies, or wearing something completely ridiculous because you love it. There is no universal definition of fun in your 40s. That’s actually the best part.
You Don’t Have to Become a Different Person Because You’re Getting Older
I don’t think the goal of aging should be to become more serious, more polished, or more restrained every year. I think the goal is to become more comfortable being yourself.
When you’re younger, you can spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think. You want to fit in. You want to be cool. You want to be taken seriously. You are figuring out who you are while simultaneously trying to make everyone else believe you already know.
Your 40s can be different.
You can know what you like. You can understand that someone else doesn’t have to share your interests for them to be meaningful to you. And you can finally give yourself permission to enjoy things without turning them into something productive or impressive. That, to me, is one of midlife’s underrated gifts.
Let Yourself Be a Little More Whimsical
Maybe embracing your inner child doesn’t have to be some grand personal transformation. Maybe it’s simply about leaving a little more room in your life for things that make you smile.
Buy the little figurine. Make the vision board. Wear the Disney ears. Go somewhere just because it looks fun. Watch the movie you loved when you were younger. Buy the ridiculous sweater. Start the collection. Take the class. Play the game. Let yourself get excited about something that other people might not understand.
We spend so much of adulthood being responsible. I don’t think we need to feel guilty about being playful, too.
And maybe that’s what I love most about getting older. I’m realizing that I don’t have to give up the fun parts of myself just because I’ve gotten older. I can be a grown woman with grown-up responsibilities and still have a little bit of whimsy in my life. Age is a number, but it doesn’t have to dictate your personality.
If your soul is craving something silly, nostalgic, creative, playful, or completely unconventional, listen to it. Because growing older should give us more freedom to be ourselves! Not fewer reasons to have fun.