I know you are sick of me talking about this. I know I’ve been talking about this for…ever. But it’s in my heart. I can’t let it go. It’s like I am a runner but I was placed in a non-runner’s body. It just doesn’t make sense. My MIND is a runner. MY HEART is a runner. But my body loves Cheetos. I just don’t get it? I really don’t.
I had a quick text chat with one of my pastors the other day and I can’t shake it off. It’s so funny how business and fitness are completely related. He said to me what I say to thousands of women on a weekly basis. This isn’t an understatement. I run a private entrepreneur group on Facebook that has 3500 women (ok 3400 and some men) and I have a niche Instagram channel dedicated to business growth – both with my partner Audrey. Our message is very clear.
Start today. Small steps. Have the goal. Fill your to-do list with achievable small bites. Get there on your own terms. But get there!!
What am I talking about? Opening up a new Etsy shop? Or training for a half marathon? It fits. The inspiration and the motivation is the same because it’s all mind over matter.
You are tired of me saying these things. I’m tired of hearing myself say these things. It’s probably the one part of my life that I am truly not proud of. I’m ashamed of this aspect because no matter how hard I try I cannot get it together.
I won’t go to the gym because I am so out of shape. I won’t run outside because I can barely get down the block. I won’t run on the treadmill because my basement is filled with demon jumping crickets that try to kill me every time I go down there. So, I do nothing.
Last week, Bill actually tried to take apart my treadmill and bring it upstairs for me and now we broke it!!! I cannot win. I know God wants me to win though. I just know He does!!
I think I just have to go outside and start with a walk. Getting back to my pastor – that’s exactly what he said. It was something like:
Step one: put on sneakers.
Step two: go outside.
Step three: go for a walk.
I literally stared at his freaking text for a good ten minutes because in that instance I saw who I was. I was all the women that I coach who can’t seem to find the courage in themselves to jumpstart their careers. I was the one who couldn’t take the first step… and that’s not who I am. But it is very much who I am when it comes to fitness. I am weak and tired and scared and already defeated.
I lost before even entering the race.
With that attitude how could I possibly start? Who wants to walk out the door saying, “I’m never going to make it to the corner?”
So, I just don’t go.
And when I don’t go, I end up in this depressed state. Full circle over and over again.
If I buy these shoes … I mean sneakers will anything change? Will they inspire me to run? Are they even running sneakers? I literally don’t even know. Actually, I just checked and it says “casual” which means you can’t run in them which means I should buy them because then I would probably use them.
There… I did it again. You see how my brain works. Pushes me down before I even take my first step.
I promised myself that 40 would be my fitness year. I’ve been 40 for a few months now and nothing has changed.
What am I waiting for?
Who am I waiting for?
I have to be the one to decide to start. This is for my children and for my LITERAL heart. Why am I not worth that? I just can’t wrap my head around it? I really can’t.
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