I have a strange dynamic with my children. I work from home… mostly. Because of this, they are used to me being with them all the time. They like me being home. Whenever I have to go into the city for an event, they literally break down and have a panic attack. I don’t know what it is. They start freaking out! Borderline TEARS.
And I try to tell them that every household in the universe has one parent that has to go to work. Sometimes it’s me and sometimes it’s Dad. It’s not an option for them. They want us both home waiting for them – every single day of the week.
Of course, we all know this isn’t possible.
Even when they see me getting ready for an event, they start to panic and the questions begin.
“When will you be back?”
“How long will you be gone?”
“What is this for?”
I’m telling you – I am home 6 out of the 7 days. I really pushed back from heading into the city for events unless it’s something that was really important for me or the brands that I work with. Otherwise, I typically send a writer. I do this to appease my children’s worries. But I think I might have created monsters because it doesn’t matter if I am gone for 4 hours or 4 days – they are crushed.
And you know what that means…. mom guilt. I can’t handle all of that! I’m a mess as it is!! I don’t need my children making me feel bad about earning a living.
I’m in a funny place. I’m trying so hard to stay home and be present. But my work – at times – requires me to actually put on a bra and leave my front door. I love the hustle. I love the grind. I love my job. I love everything about what I do. But I love my children more. So, here I am. Being pulled in two very different directions… and being so confused that the only thing I can do is stand still.