It took me a good three days, but I’ve finally arrived to a place of peace. I needed to wrap my head around the fact that I am – once again – on bed rest. I will do anything for my babies. I’m not complaining, but it was a shock to the system to be told this journey has officially started.
The comments. The emails. The love. I cannot thank you all enough. Every single time one came through, I cried… HARD. Because I felt your concern. It practically enveloped me. Even now writing this paragraph is bringing me to tears. It took only a few minutes to leave those comments, but just know they meant the world to me. So, I thank you. I truly, truly thank you.
Bed rest sucks. I’m not going to lie. Every time I ask Bill to get me something, a piece of me breaks off. But he keeps insisting I’m not a burden… and I actually believe that he is telling the truth. He’s been down this road with me before. So, this is no surprise. Third baby. Third time on bed rest.
But still – he’s a boy. So, when he brings me food there’s no napkin. And then I have to remind him which shoves him right back into the kitchen. I’m DYING doing this to him. I just keep thanking him over and over again.
And at the same time… this control freak is having a heart attack. Everything is no longer in my hands. My house. The mail. The kids. I literally have to hand it all over to Bill and be good with that. It takes a lot of trust to be in this situation. I am literally handing my LIFE over to my husband… and hoping we all survive. LOL!! Not that he isn’t capable – that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just VERY TYPE A. Just the thought is giving me convulsions. Thus… the fact that I NEED to stay busy.
So, what have I been doing? I spent the first two days crying. FOR REAL. But like I said – I needed that. I had to get it all out of my system. And now that I’m officially empty of that sadness I have to move on and try to stay occupied.
I’ve DVR’d about 500 shows to watch. BOY – I am going to walk out of this experience a TV junkie. Prior to this situation, I hardly ever watched television. Now, it’s my new best friend. My actual best friend – Audrey – calls me about 600 times a day. And that’s good because those little interruptions are just what the doctor ordered. I need to hear about the chaos that is her life to distract me from my non-existence so to speak.
My husband brought both the Xbox 360 AND the PS3 to my bedroom. Apparently, I need to go shopping! I own about 3 games between the two systems. LOL! My son and I have been kicking a** on Skylanders. That’s been pretty fun. I’ve enjoyed listening to him scream, “Mom!! Look out!” or “Thanks for giving me the cheese, Mom.” It’s actually really sweet.
Bought a bed tray. Figured I’m going to really make use of it – so it was worth the $30. Eating in bed is disgusting. I am SO AGAINST IT. No one was ever allowed to even bring a DRINK into their rooms – forget about FOOD. But now I have no choice. Going to try to stay as sanitary as possible.
I looked in Rosetta Stone believe it or not – but they don’t have something for MAC computers. So, no go there. Figured if I had 4 months to kill… I might as well learn a language, right? LOL
Bill felt the baby move for the first time last night. We were both laying down watching… TV and he started to rumble. I grabbed his hand and placed it on my belly. So, that was a wonderful thing that happened this weekend. I can’t wait for the kids to feel!
What else did I do??????
I also spent a few hours reading up on things I’ve always wanted to check out. I’m going to get a little New Age on you folks. Ready for it?
I always thought that I was an empath. I know that sounds insane to those people who don’t believe in such things. But after 4 hours on the Internet reading everything under the sun, I can pretty much confirm it to be true. What am I going to do with this information? I have no idea. But I guess it was nice to get that confirmation. I even sent an article to my husband about being in a relationship with an empath. I cannot WAIT for him to wake up and read it. I am telling you – it is SPOT ON. I was actually cracking up reading it.
So, many things clicked. Truly. Again – it’s something I’ve said for the last 10 years of my life. But I’ve never thought to look into it. It was just the way I was so to speak. Not sure where to go with all of that…. but here I am.
Bought a book.
Signed up for a RedBox account.
Am considering knitting.
I don’t know what else to do?!
I have to look up exercises for women on bedrest because my legs are already beginning to hurt from not moving around. It’s only been a few days and I feel like my body is shutting down. Can I do leg lifts etc? My next doctor appointment is on Monday – so that is a question I need to ask.
Anyway – life will get back to normal for me tomorrow. Thank you for letting me have the last few days to marinade in my new situation. Even though we all don’t know one another on a very personal level, I want you to know that your comments TRULY meant the world to me.