Would You Tell Your Friend If You Knew Her Husband Was Cheating?

I did this video for SheKnows last week and am getting a lot of responses about it through email. Some are in agreement with me which I actually found a bit surprising and others are not. SO, I’m curious – if you knew that a friend’s husband was cheating on her, would you tell her?

My answer might be a bit surprising to most, but I actually KNOW FOR A FACT that I would NOT tell. Not if she wasn’t an absolute best friend. If she was someone who I saw every now and then … it’s really not my business. I will not be responsible for breaking up a family. I just wouldn’t be able to look into her child’s eyes anymore knowing I had something to do with splitting his parents up.

Not my business.

What would you do if you knew a friend’s husband was cheating?

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  1. Nadia wrote:

    See, I completely agree with you on this! I would never, ever for the same reasons. It is none of my business. My husband on the other hand? Complete other side of the fence. He doesn’t think it’s fair to the friend. Sigh… can see his point, but I just can’t do it.

    Posted 4.13.12
  2. Shannon wrote:

    I’m right there with you, I had a personal experience as an adult catching my mother in a compromising postion while still married to my father, whom I informed. Although I was an adult dealing with the aftermath and years (and divorce) that it took to get over the situation I would NEVER put someone elses child through that kind of trauma at my hands!! There is still 8 years later hostility surrounding it involved, so unless it was someone who was like my sister, I wouldnt say a word. I would probably however try to cut the said couple out of my life because I would also find it difficult to look at them the same since I find cheating APALLING!

    Posted 4.13.12
  3. Cat Davis wrote:

    If I knew 100% a spouse was cheating, friend, family, whatever … I would tell the person. And I would hope that they would do the same for me. I can say I would never be angry with anyone for telling me but I’d be pretty furious if someone knew and didn’t tell me. Every day you don’t know your spouse is cheating is one day closer to getting an STD. But that’s just how I see it.

    Posted 4.13.12
  4. jenivieve wrote:

    Yikes, hard situation for sure. I cant say, but I hope I am NEVER put in that situation!!!

    Posted 4.13.12
  5. Naomi wrote:

    I would only tell my frind if we were really close, not just acquaintances. The reason being that if she knew anything about my partner cheating on me and she didnt tell me I would feel devistated. I dont think telling your friend about this info should be about ” oh ill fell guilty i broke up a family”, the damage was already done by the spouse so that has nothing to do with it. Besides you never know, it might help the couple work out whatever is broken or missing. Not all those that are cheated on get divorced.
    I would feel betrayed by both my spouse and my friend if she didnt tell me. Thats what friends are for, right? However, once I told my friend, that would be the end of the discussion unless she actually wanted to talk to me about it. Its her decision to do whatever she wants with the info i gave her, and I wont judge her on whatever she decides.

    Posted 4.13.12
  6. Wendy wrote:

    I agree with your point of view completely. Would you let the spouse know that you saw them cheating though?

    Posted 4.13.12
  7. Wendy T wrote:

    My speakers are not working, so I can not hear what you are saying. Ugggg!

    I would tell my friend. I wouldn’t be responsible for breaking up a marriage. That would be between them. I don’t know how I could look my friend in the eyes if I didn’t tell the truth.

    That being said, if it were me – I would not want to know if my spouse had a one night fling. If he were having an ongoing affair, or more than one one night fling, I’d want to know.

    Posted 4.13.12

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