Man! It’s only been a few days since I… BROKE my wedding rings and BOY do I have some stories to tell. I guess those rings were like some sort of shield. Something that made other people feel like my life was acceptable to them.
I cannot tell you the stares I’ve been getting when I’m out with my kids.
Um excuse me – none of your darn business what my situation is. And PS – what year are we in? Do you want to paint an A on my forehead too???
It’s becoming rather uncomfortable. The dirty stares. The dart to my hand and then to my children and then to my face. I’m like… is this happening???
Maybe it’s just my filter because I’m a bit self aware that I’m without my bands (and it’s been 10 years since I’ve been in public without them). Maybe I’m LOOKING for those people who disapprove to validate my own fears. But whatever it is – it’s frustrating.
And the men too. I’m not saying I’m getting picked up everywhere I go, but conversations are lasting longer. Take last night for instance. I went to my local grocery store to pick up a few things I need for this… diet plan I’m starting (will talk about later). I told a man he could go in front of me because he only had a few items. He insisted it was fine to wait. That’s usually where it would stop.
But last night it was the “That’s a lot of food for one person” comment that made me realize I need those rings back on pronto. My husband and I are looking at the rings as the elephant in the room. We both know we need to find the money to fix them but we both don’t feel like going through the process to do it.
So, they are still in pieces in a bag in my kitchen.
When you go out without your rings – do you feel like people treat you differently?
Nicole Perrino
Thursday 19th of May 2011
I think a lot of it is in your head, but I can understand how you feel. I have been with Luis for 7 years, we have a daughter, and we still aren't married or even engaged. We practically grew up together, so there was no way we were going to put money for a ring before money for dinner, or rent. Now that we are finally establishing ourselves we can start to think about marriage. I'm fully aware we did everything backwards-I was 19 when I had my daughter! But I'm only 24 now, and I know walking around with a five year old can attract attention. But it's all in how I carry myself. So if I can be a young mom and still gain respect from most people I walk past, I am sure you're doing fine. I think people stare depending on how your children act, and I know your children are fine, clean and well groomed LOL so trust me, its all in your head! As for the men, there might be some truth to it, but sadly in today's world a ring still doesnt stop a lot of men. I have friends who say they felt like they drew MORE attention with their ring because some men just like what they can't have! =)
Melissa
Friday 13th of May 2011
Well...I am a single mom of 2 little ones...I haven't had a ring on my finger since my son was 6 weeks old!! He's almost 4 now (my daughter is 6). In the beginning I thought the same thing you did.....BUT I was LOOKING for people to disapprove! I felt awful at that time in my life and I just knew everyone was judging me.
Fast forward a few years...I don't think anyone even notices that I'm not wearing a ring...It never even crosses my mind that I'm not married (I do have an amazing boyfriend). I love my children. I'm a great mom and that's all that matters. My daughter started kindergarten this year and I thought she would be the only one with divorced parents.....She is one of at least 5 in the class that I know of!!! We live in a nice neighborhood in a great school district. Being a single mom doesn't mean you are a bad mom by ANY means....Maybe people do judge me....but who cares? I'm happy...my kids are happy....that's what matters!
Of course...I just had to give my "single mom" input.
jennifer b
Friday 13th of May 2011
I have been married for 10 years and hardly ever wear my ring, I am not a ring person. They irritate me. My husband never wears his either, he's in construction and he hates the feel of it too..lol I never had any problems with anybody though...luckily because they wouldn't like what I had to say. What's even funnier to me is my husband is also a pastor.
Vera
Friday 13th of May 2011
I actually bought a fake ring online - waiting for it. That way there will be no pressure to reset until we are ready. Thanks for all the comments - calmed me down a bit!
Nicole
Thursday 12th of May 2011
Go to the jewelry store next to wild fig. Franklin ave. Make an appt w/ Eduardo. He is fantastic. He can defin fix them!