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I Had A Terrible Thought Today


(photographed while in China)

I slept in today. Not going to lie. I got home from a trip last night and had a hard time sleeping in the hotel while I was away. It was located across the street from a baseball stadium and there were games three nights in a row. People were tailgating until 3AM every night and I am a VERY light sleeper.

So, today I got up at 9. Don’t judge me. My body needed it but it still wasn’t enough. This morning, I  forced myself out of bed half awake and stumbled to the supermarket to grab some goodies. While in the parking lot,  I became aware of chirping birds and the overall sound of nature. As I sloshed from my car to the door of Stop and Shop, I was noting that it was such a lovely sound. I told myself that the sound of birds chirping was just so peaceful and relaxing. And do you want to know what my next thought was?

“I should find an app that could produce that sound all day long so I can hear it while I’m working.”

As soon as the sentence finished in my mind, I jolted awake.






What the hell is the matter with me? THAT’S the solution? An app? Not…. oh I don’t know? OPENING A WINDOW while the weather is nice? I couldn’t believe it. There were so many other thoughts I could have had that would have been better.

  • Try to work more outdoors
  • Try to work less and instead spend more time outdoors with the family
  • Go running more without my headphones in my ears so I can appreciate the sounds of nature
  • Keep all my windows open this spring and lean less on air conditioning

But my first instinct was technology — the fake version of what I thought was so beautiful. And that’s just utterly pathetic. I don’t know who I would be without the Internet. There isn’t a facet of my life that doesn’t involve or incorporate the need for wifi – even appreciating nature I guess. And it makes me sad.

At least I’m aware of myself. I feel like the older I get, the more I want to turn away from this world and turn back to the simpler things in life. Like having moments in my day where I just sit outside and listen to the birds. I could cry right now because I can’t remember the last time I gave myself permission to do just that. To do nothing but be.

Vera – the perpetual multi-tasker.

Even when I’m resting and watching TV, I’m checking emails and scheduling out shares on my Facebook pages. There isn’t a moment in my day when I am doing just one thing. FORGET ABOUT a moment when I am doing N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

I think that’s why I am drawn to the concept of running. I can’t take a call or check my emails or even TALK at this point while running. I get 30 minutes of nothing because my body is physically incapable of doing anything else but staying alive while I am trying to make my rounds. I need to make it more of a priority to disconnect and just be.

I need to find a way to listen to the birds more… the real ones.


Tuesday 24th of May 2016

Vera, everything will be fine!!!! You know what you can do, balance your real life with your "WIFI" life. Play with your kids, laughing, and tell them how much you love them :)Sure you can fell much better!!!!

Onica (MommyFactor)

Saturday 21st of May 2016

I know this feeling well. It's one if the reason's I've cut back from being online and in the blog space.

Sometimes it's just nice to take a walk in the park in real life. A park with no wifi. LOL.

Enjoy your birds!

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