How Do I Expect To Stay In Shape When I Cook Dinners Like This?

I mean… I am just setting myself up for failure, aren’t I? Yesterday was a pretty crappy day. I wrote a story that was probably the best post of my blogging life and it got deleted yesterday morning when my server overloaded due to a massive file upload. It was an accident. It was by chance. But the lengthy post about being in control of your own happiness was erased. I won’t write it again because I will never do the piece justice. I just found the whole thing so ironic.

I was SKIPPING to Bill to have him read it. I had it timestamped to go off around 3:30 or so. And I told him – “I can’t wait – I want to publish it right now”. What a message I was about to send! I felt so good about it. And then the site just hung. It was strange. Then all three sites crashed and I was like… wait. what just happened?

We hopped on the phone with the server people and they said they could fix it but we would lose one post. That post. It was gone. My balloon inflated and I got so angry! I kept thinking… out of ALL the posts to lose – it had to be my most favorite one?

It took me a while to shake it off. I kept referencing what I just wrote and then laughing because I couldn’t give into the feelings as quickly as I hoped. Bill told me to write it again – but I said the universe was telling me not to write it. I actually called out a few people I knew in the post and I think it might have caused some issues for me. So maybe it’s best that it never saw the light of day.

How did I resolve it all? By eating like a freaking pig. Chicken nachos for dinner? Who does that?! I do. (recipe here)

I then had a bunch of friends come over for a JCPenney shoot (story coming) and made chocolate chip cookies. So forget it! I was done.

Then this morning I woke up and had a cookie for breakfast. I felt… dirty as soon as I finished it so I think that streak has ended.  Do you abuse food when you are in a cranky mood?

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  1. lizzys wrote:

    yes and my husband too

    Posted 10.28.10
  2. Wheatly wrote:

    Always listen to the universe, Vera.

    If it were me, I’d try to re-write it and save it somewhere, just to have around. But I understand completely. Sometimes, the writing comes, you’re in a zone and you don’t think that a re-written piece would ever have the punch and energy it did the first time around. I made a huge mistake of once deleting a whole blog (various reasons), but now realize I had many posts such as yours that I can never re-create. It feels like such a waste. ( I now routinely work with a flash drive plugged into my computer and save everything right away; I can always toss it later if I wish.)

    Stress/reward eating? You betcha. Right now, I’m sitting at school, eating a box of Milk Duds after a very stessful week. And I’m considering stopping for pizza on my way home tonight. Or I might just try to recreate those nachos of yours – that looks awesome!

    Posted 10.28.10
  3. Mandy wrote:

    You know, I think everyone does it. Did you know that when we overeat our brain reacts the same way as if we had taken a benzodiazapene (think Britney, during that awful MTV live song/dance number? She appeared to be on benzos…or just ate a large pizza LOL). Don’t beat yourself up girl. You’re human. Not to mention super skinny. When crap like this happens to me (you lost your awesome article) I try to think of it as a practice of non-attachment and letting go. Breath in : LET, Breath out: GO. 🙂

    Posted 10.28.10
  4. sofie V wrote:

    You have now made me supercurious as to who and why you were calling out those people. Not that it’s my business of course. 🙂

    Posted 10.28.10
    • Vera wrote:

      lol– just friends and people i work with. nothing crazy. but just pointing out a few things Ive noticed over the years. no names were mentioned. it is what it is…. just letting it go

      Posted 10.28.10
  5. Mandy wrote:

    According to an article in 2003, Dr. Neal Barnard authored a book about the cravings of food that many of us face. His book is titled Breaking the Food Seduction: The Hidden Reasons Behind Food Cravings and Seven Steps to End them Naturally. He concluded that cheese is particularly addictive because it has small amounts of morphine that is produced from the cow’s liver.

    Read more:

    This is why if you ask someone what is your comfort food they usually name something with CHEESE…. 🙂

    Posted 10.28.10
    • Vera wrote:


      Posted 10.28.10

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