Often times I catch myself wishing for… more. More of something. More of anything. More of EVERYTHING. I’m not manic, but I can’t just… be. I’m always on the go looking to fill my day with excitement and progress. For the last month I’ve been trying to convince my husband to travel to Egypt with me for 9 days on a tour because I am so desperate to be amazed and to experience.
And then today happened – and while I won’t say exactly what happened – I will say that it revolves around severe loss. Today silenced me. Made me very still. A loved one went through something that will forever change her and I ache for her and will always ache for her. There are a few people that are more important in my life (most of which I have given birth to) and today has broken me for her.
So, today instead of wanting I just… was. There was no need to build – to create- to enhance – to experience. There was just silence and solace and prayer. I did nothing special. I spent the day with my family. I watched the sunset and I just… was.
Those are the days we should all wish for. It’s not about the extraordinary. It’s about being with loved ones and living in the present – no matter what it is we are doing. Even if what we are doing is nothing at all. We are lucky to be able to do nothing. We are lucky to live a day without pain and loss and sorrow. We are lucky. We are lucky. We are lucky.
marianne sciberras
Thursday 8th of July 2010
I love it!!
Vera
Thursday 8th of July 2010
Thanks for all your replies guys. Your kind thoughts are appreciated.
NicoleT
Thursday 8th of July 2010
I'm sorry for your loved ones' loss. I have a close friend that lost someone who is from Long Island yesterday, and while I know that many things can happen in the day, I wonder if it's the same person. I have been aching for my friend as you have been for yours. My prayers are with your loved one, also. Thank you for your post.
Jenny
Thursday 8th of July 2010
Wow, great post! Def. gives me something to think about. Thank you!!!
Rock and Roll Mama
Thursday 8th of July 2010
I'm so sorry for what your friend is going through.
At a recent conference, I saw Brene Brown (an incredible social worker, researcher, and storyteller) speak about the beauty in the ordinary. She said, "If I died today and had to pick my favorite moment ever, I would pick cooking dinner with the screen door open, hearing my kids on the trampoline and my husband puttering around the house."
And I started bawling like a baby at the truth in it. As a fellow seeker of...something, the next minute, something to cross off my list- I get the problem with just "being". But when I remember, it's so powerful. Thank you for sharing this.