Over the weekend, I had to have an uncomfortable conversation with another parent. I usually don’t get involved with my children’s affairs, but a girl kicked my daughter in the stomach and I felt like I had to step in.
Did I want to seek this woman out to have this discussion? NO. It was the last thing I wanted to do.
Did I feel completely uneasy about the entire thing? Absolutely. But I felt if the roles were reversed, I would want to know.
And that’s exactly how I started out the conversation…
“Hi. I’m XYZ. Something happened during the break and I felt as a parent I would want to know if it was about my child. So, I thought it would be best to find you and tell you face to face. Your daughter kicked my daughter in the stomach. Several girls told me it was intentional. When I found her crying, your daughter did apologize… but I still thought you should know.”
The daughter immediately denied the whole ordeal.
Then she changed her story and said it was a game.
Then she changed her story again and said someone slapped her in the face.
All the while I stood there waiting for the mother to acknowledge what I was saying so I could move on and be with my family.
(and you know what’s coming)
I was told that that seems very “out of character” for her daughter and it’s very unlikely that the incident actually happened. IN FACT, she didn’t understand why the girls were wrestling to begin with — why was a game going on like that downstairs for her daughter to join in on?
That’s not at all what happened.
But instead of correcting this woman, I looked at her and said, “Ok, I see what’s happening here. I’m going to let you two go. That’s just great.” And I walked away.
There was no getting through to her and I didn’t want to waste another breath of my BEING on the discussion. She didn’t want to hear what happened with her daughter. Even though I had an ENTIRE ROOM OF GIRLS RUN UP TO ME AND TATTLE ON THE LITTLE GIRL as soon as I walked in. I mean, it was instant!! It was obvious there was malicious intent … but the mother wouldn’t hear it because her angel would never do such a thing.
This is the society we live in.
If anyone told me something like this about my daughter… I WOULD BELIEVE THEM. WHY????? BECAUSE NO ADULT WANTS TO TALK TO ANOTHER ADULT ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS. THEREFORE, IT MUST BE SOMETHING IMPORTANT. I would at least CONSIDER the notion that the statement is true. I would ENTERTAIN it. I would address it more seriously with my child. I would just automatically dismiss because …. “NOT MY BABY GIRL”.
Heaven forbid our children are at fault.
Heaven forbid we have to parent.
I was so freaking PISSED when I left that duo. I was literally spinning. I was mad at the mother but I was mostly mad at what we’ve become as a society. 30 years ago, it wouldn’t have went down like that. If anyone went up to my mother and told her I kicked their child in the stomach, I would have had to apologize AGAIN to the girl and I would have been punished.
Not in 2015. Not now. Not my child…