It’s no secret amongst my friends and family that having Caleb took many, many years of convincing. My poor husband never gave up though. But if you’ve read my blog before, you know that I don’t have easy pregnancies.
I go on bed rest for at least 4 months a time. And with my second child, I was hospitalized for 3 months because it was THAT touch and go.
Lots of risk. Lots of tears. Lots of fear. It’s not a pretty thing or an easy thing to walk into. So, for me to willingly say, “YES, I will do that all over one more time”… well, you can see why that was so hard for me to do.
But a chance meeting with a waitress in Florida changed my entire mindset. On a press trip and completely caught off guard, this random woman said something to me that quite literally flipped a switch.
While serving my table, she basically started to talk about her own personal life and how she always wanted another child. Her husband just wouldn’t allow it.
A few days before, they saw their son off to college and after all that time, her husband turned to her and admitted that they should have had one more baby. That was after not speaking about expanding their family for over a decade. They wept together and embraced and in a way mourned their mistake. And then she left.
And I sat there looking at my meal wondering who placed that woman in my path. Why did she serve me that day?
And why would she share such an intimate story with me out of all people? It was as if I was meant to meet her / hear her. I didn’t say a word about what I was feeling for the remainder of the trip – despite being with my best friend for the entire time.
I flew back home – again in silence – walked through my front door and told my husband that I was ready. After 5 years of him asking, I was finally ready to go through it all and have another baby.
I knew what it meant. I knew what I was going to go through. And I was ready to do it all because I never wanted to feel what that waitress’ husband will feel for the rest of his life.
And now, years into Caleb’s life, I can’t believe I waited so long. But I know I had to go through this journey to have him – exactly him. It was played out exactly as it was supposed to be played out. I am a true believer of these sort of things.
In case you are still on the fence… In case you needed a little push to have that last baby that you are still wondering whether or not you should have… In case you aren’t quite sure if you can handle another one…
Here are 41 Reasons Why You Should Have That Last Baby
(1) If you are even REMOTELY thinking about having another child, then you should! The fact that it’s on your mind means that you have room in your heart for one more addition. There will be no regrets!
(2) If you have other children, you are adding to their lives – not taking away.
(3) Our new baby has brought a surge of life into our home. The older children are always smiling and laughing as they play with him. He is a true joy.
(4) How much fun was picking our baby names? Now you get to do it AGAIN!
(5) Baby baths and then the smell of baby lotion and oils. So precious.
(6) Listening to a baby laugh – nothing is better than that.
(7) All new handmade artwork. One of a kind!
(8) Watching your grandparents get to love another one of your children. Feeling so blessed to be able to witness it AGAIN.
(9) Even those sleepless nights — there’s pleasure in those too. The quiet moments that you share are priceless.
(10) Your heart will grow to make room for that baby. You will be filled with love.
(11) Baby smell – like powder and softness.
(12) First Halloween! How fun is dressing up that newborn in his/her costume? A year of lasting memories includes some really adorable moments.
(13) Getting to be silly again.
(14) Seeing your baby walk towards you for the first time. Sheer pleasure.
(15) Watching all of your favorite shows again and forcing your older children to do the same. Those older kid shows are filled with disrespectful characters anyway!
(16) When you feed your baby and he/she stares into your eyes … and they see right through you. THAT MOMENT. I cried so many times in the very beginning. The ultimate bond.
(17) You start to take better care of yourself for your children. Having a baby is a great reminder of how important it is to be healthy. We have to be strong for our little ones.
(18) Babies make you young again! It’s true. Suddenly I feel like I am starting all over and have been given a new lease on life.
(19) Getting to experience life through your baby’s eyes.
(20) Watching your child learn songs and move along to them for the first time.
(21) Hearing those first words and waiting to see what they will be.
(22) The more children you have… the greater odds you will have more grandchildren. Just saying.
(23) Being the only one who can figure out what your child means when they say or do something.
(24) You’re a pro at being a mom. This last run around will not be that hard.
(25) Everything begins to slow down. You appreciate the little things again because you have to teach it to your baby. When was the last time you stopped to look at the flowers on your own? But when you have your baby, you do. That is a true life lesson.
(26) Family is everything.
(27) A true reminder that happiness comes from within.
(28) Watching a baby crawl around as you chase them. Endless fun.
(29) You will remember how amazing it feels to get a good night’s rest. Nothing will be taken for granted – not even an early bedtime.
(30) Meeting new people through parenting groups / stroller walks / classes.
(31) Babies dancing – the cutest.
(32) Your muscles!! All that lifting – that baby is like a free gym.
(33) Getting to read all of your favorite classics once again. “Chicka Chicka Boom Boom” anyone?
(34) Daily walks outside — baby needs fresh air and so do you!
(35) Babies are like sponges – absorbing everything we say and do. Here’s your chance to teach and mold your child.
(36) Baby thighs. Need I say more?
(37) You will be giving your other children a new best friend.
(38) You already own all of the baby clothes – why not use everything one more time?
(39) To gender reveal or not? Either way, the process is exciting.
(40) Labor – as terrible as it is – makes me feel stronger. If I went through a C section and 2 VBACs then I can handle a root canal! 🙂
And the final reason why you should have that last baby is because you’ve done it before and because since you KNOW that this time around is really the last — you will appreciate every moment with a new sense of finality. Every night feeding, every bath, every change of diaper… I embrace. Why? Because my other two are going to be 7 and 9. I know how fast time goes.
I know that the baby stage doesn’t last forever. So, I take a deep breath in when I put on that baby oil and I hold onto my boy so tight because before I know it he will be running around with his friends and not me. That’s it! That’s my official list. Hope you enjoyed it. Did I sway you?? 🙂 Do you have any reasons you’d like to add?
Jewel
Thursday 1st of May 2014
Tears! Great post!
lara jane
Tuesday 29th of April 2014
I love this so much. What joy Caleb has brought to all four of you! Can you even imagine life without him?! He fits.
I wanted 5 kids -- yes, FIVE!!!! -- but Jake always said two was his number. The "battle" became less relevant after loss and secondary infertility.
We were quite shocked to get a BFP out of the blue not long after Henry turned 11. We weren't TTC because we didn't think we could conceive! It took every bit of those nine months (and then some, since I'm being honest!) to adjust to the idea of having a baby after more than a decade with an "only child." But then, days go by, and she's a part of us we never knew we were missing. Seeing our children -- our children, a phrase I thought I'd never use -- together is indescribably precious.
Agnes just turned two on Friday and it kills me to look at Henry and know that she will be the 14-year-old before we know it. That annoying cliché is true: they grow up too quickly! I'm sooooo thankful for this unexpected blessing; she was very much longed for, and she also makes us appreciate Henry (and our numbered days with our children before they're grown) in a whole new way.
Leanne
Monday 28th of April 2014
We've been doing the "should we or shouldn't we?" for so long that I was worried we've waited too long. With an almost 6yo and a 3.5yo, I was sort of dreading starting over at this point and wishing we had done it earlier. After reading this, I'm definitely more sure that #3 would be best for all of us!
Connie
Monday 28th of April 2014
Great post Vera! I would have loved to have a 4th, maybe it's still in the cards. :)
Sommer Poquette
Monday 28th of April 2014
My husband wanted another baby years ago but I said over and over I was done. Now I am saying I want another baby and he is saying it is too late, he is done. He doesn't want to be too old when the kids are in high school and college. It's funny because we flip-flopped. Now I have no clue what will happen!