You might not know this, but I’m currently living with my in-laws and cosleeping with my son. We decided to restain our floors and it’s been quite the process. I’ve tried to document as much as humanly possible on social media – and I promise to put together a post of “lessons learned” once we come out on the other side – but right now I feel like I am mentally drowning in chaos. It’s hard to live outside of your regular structure. Apparently, I am a creature of habit. Who knew!? Cosleeping has always been something that I’ve done with my third child, but in my king size bed. Now, we are cosleeping in a twin. OY!
CoSleeping With My 5 Year Old Has Been … Something
So, what do my days look like lately? Luckily, my mother in law is taking very good care of us. She is handling the laundry and the meals with stride. However, my job requires lots of photography and videography sessions that usually take over the entire house. I’m coming into her home with loads of product from a variety of brands and just bombarding her kitchen and bathroom space with absolute clutter. Setting up the shot, fixing the light, working with my children to get them into frame… and then if it relates to food, finding a way to eat it all before it spoils. Once that shoot is done, we reset and work up the next client’s proposal and begin from the top.
Repeat every single day this week. Over and over and over again. Total overload.
I feel bad. I really do. I don’t mind doing it in my house…because it’s my house. But I feel terrible causing all of this disruption at my mother in laws. We pretty much took over their dining room with our mail and with all the excess product from our photography sessions.
Now, let’s talk get back to our sleeping arrangements. Bill and I started out on an air mattress on the floor in the living room and the children each have their own beds. Luckily, they each have their own bedrooms in this house. PHEW! That worked out!! 🙂
But after day two on the air mattress, my body said “NO MORE”! So, I made my way to Caleb’s bed and haven’t looked back. A twin bed is big enough for the two of us. He is 40 pounds soaking wet and I don’t mind snuggling with him. But, let me tell you something…that boy is as active in his sleep as he is wide awake. Caleb rolls and twists and flips and flops and hits and kicks and twists and turns. Cosleeping has felt like a tornado.
In other news, I haven’t slept in 5 days.
But I won’t go back to the air mattress because Caleb loves it when I sleep with him. He gets so excited when I tell him that I am going to join him again in his bed. Cosleeping is the ultimate way to bond. He makes room for me and when I crawl in and under his comforter, he immediately wraps his arm around my neck and starts to dig himself closer into my chest. I mean, how many more years do I have this? I see Natalie at 13. Rushing to get away. Rushing to get to her friends. Rushing to watch the wrong shows on Netflix. Trying so hard to grow up too quickly. I know what’s at the end of the ride.
I have another ticket. I’m lucky enough to get to go around at least one more time.
So, it’s ok if I have bags under my eyes for the week. It’s ok if he literally punches me in the head a few times just as I start to get comfortable. Hey! He’s on his fifth dream. Who can blame him? I’ll just lay there as we cosleep and I will keep him warm and think about those brand new floors and my king size bed and how much sleep I’ll get over the weekend. It will all even out. There is no rush.
Eventually, they will all leave me – my children. I can tear up just writing this. It’s closer than we think. We are dead smack in the middle of the best years of our lives. The sooner we accept that – the better. We are KNEE DEEP IN THEM. It’s not twenty years from now. It’s today.
It was last night when Caleb flipped himself around and I had to grab him before he fell off the bed because someone how he twisted himself over me and around me. And then I couldn’t go back to sleep because I was so scared about him falling. It was that moment. Not when I’m 60 and living in a quiet house wondering what my grandchildren are up to. It’s right now. As I’m sitting in this kitchen while my daughter takes her science test and I worry about whether or not we studied enough last night together. It’s this very second.
Hold onto to this day. Remember how you feel. What your coffee tastes like. What clothes you are wearing. What the weather feels like. How your children greet you when they come. What you make for dinner. The ordinary days will be the most extraordinary in our memories when we look back on them fondly.
I can’t wait to not sleep tonight. I can’t wait to cosleep with my little boy.