A Note On Being Thankful
This Thanksgiving, we are celebrating family and life and love! I had a good year – one that was filled with a few strong realizations. I have a great marriage, three wonderful children, and a small extended family that means everything to me. From my mother who has worn two hats most of her life, to my grandmother who is like a second mother to me, to my cousins who always bring me such joy and laughter – I see them all and I am so thankful for it.
Over the last month or so, I found myself telling my husband over and over again that, “I love our life.” It’s a simple enough statement but one that is very true. I love our life. We went to Stew Leonards yesterday and we were walking around sampling food and picking out Thanksgiving snacks to bring home to the kids and I was very present in that moment. We spent more time than I’d like to admit fussing over what kind of pie we wanted to take home. Cherry or apple? Cherry or apple? I recognized that we were so blessed to have time to worry about such a simple thing. And it was OUR decision – together. And we were bringing home the pie to feed our three children. We also had the money to buy the pie along with anything else I wanted in the store. So simple. A chore that we’ve done a thousand times over, but in that moment, I was so thankful for it all.
We drove home and put the groceries away and I headed to my neurologist appointment to manage my migraines. I tried to get off my daily meds but my doctor wouldn’t let me. He told me he would get rid of just one of the pills but not both. I’ll take what I can get. Topamax makes me very forgetful. I can’t remember simple words – like milk! It’s because of the drugs. It’s hard to talk to strangers sometimes when I am in one of those spells.
“I took the……………..(what’s the word? what’s the word? I know the word)……………………train into the city.”
Those pills make me feel like I am losing my mind and it’s been a good 4 years of this madness. Like Alzheimer’s is coming sooner than I anticipated. Freaks me out. So, he said I could stop them. I was thankful for that moment. Yes, I still have one more daily pill to swallow for the rest of my life – but I guess I should be thankful for medicine, right?
I get home from my appointment and find that the kids are already inside. They’ve ripped through my house like a tornado – in twenty minutes or less. Every room was a disaster. Immediately, I fill with anxiety because I can’t take the mess, but then I see the boys building a fort and I hear them laugh. So, I take a deep breath and just let them be.
The laundry is overflowing. Bill started a few loads before I came home and everything is thrown all over my bed. Why do we have so many clothes? Why do we wait so long to do laundry? The kids come in and each take their piles. It goes down and eventually all away. I’m thankful that my children are old enough to help out with chores.
I take my panini maker out and I start working on sourdough grilled cheese sandwiches. I add sundried tomatoes to Bill’s because I know that he would appreciate the extra treat. I begin to warm my eggplant tomato soup and it fills my house with the most amazing aromas. I’m thankful for easy dinners that are delicious too.
The kids go to sleep and Bill and I finally have time alone together. We spend our night behind closed doors. We try to get through some DVR episodes and he lets me watch Outlanders even though he doesn’t really like that one. I’m thankful for those times when it is just me and him.
Around 1:30 in the morning, my son comes racing into the bed. He had a nightmare and wanted us both. We take him in and kiss him so. He falls fast asleep and so do I. I’m thankful for a baby that needs me.
The morning comes and it’s raining. It’s gloomy. I don’t do well on rainy days. My head always acts up due to my migraines. I slowly get through the morning in my robe and try to make everyone breakfast but tell Bill that I am going back to bed when they all go to school. He takes Liam to school first and then comes back and takes Caleb. I never have to leave the house. He knows me. He understands me. I’m thankful for my husband yet again.
And now, I am sitting here writing this as I wait for my lil’ man to come home from school. I’m sitting in my bed and I am watching a movie while typing this and I am thankful for a job that allows me to live a very relaxed life at times. It isn’t always easy. I’ve been a Platinum Delta flyer for the last 4 years because I’ve earned more miles than I care to admit due to travel. But for today, a rainy Wednesday, I am sitting here in my pajamas doing what I love the most. Writing for you. Writing for me. Writing for my children for when they are old enough to come back here and read it all. I am thankful for this job. I am thankful for this life. I am thankful for a God who gives and gives and gives. I’m not sure that I deserve it but it’s in the palm of my hands… and I won’t let go.