Personal Blog

When The Funk Gets Too Funky: Giving Yourself Permission To Heal

When The Funk Gets Too Funky: Giving Yourself Permission To Heal

We’ve all been there.

That deep down slump – the one that feels too dark to escape.

The one that you drifted into without noticing.

The one that feels all too familiar.

I found myself surrounded by emptiness a few days ago and couldn’t muster the energy to rise above it.

It felt comfortable and safe and a little bit like home.

So, I burrowed in and forgot just about everything.

I allowed myself to be consumed by the darkness because every now and then I recognize I don’t deserve all the light.

Eventually, everybody needs a reset.

Eventually, everybody needs to remember who they really are.

And so – I remembered.

As masks fell

As tears fell

As hopes disappeared and dreams vanished – I remembered all the things I tucked away.

The whispers.

They returned – they live in the darkness, you see.

And their tune is a melody I could sing right on key.

After all, I’ve written their songs, haven’t I?

So – I lived through motion.

I fed my babies.

I worked.

I ran errands and chatted with friends.

All the while … empty inside.

My cracked mask barely holding on by a string.

I am hollow inside – but this feeling is not new.

I am a performer.

No one would notice the difference because I am a master on stage.

Heels on.

Lipstick on.

You have no idea who I am – do you?

But as I lived through my motions, I forced myself to see

See their laughing faces

See the safety within my walls

See the happiness that surrounds me

And I didn’t turn away – I looked at it all without blinking

And a piece of me  buried deep down inside decided the darkness was on borrowed time

She couldn’t have me like before

As easy as it was to live within a quiet mind

Because the darkness does bring an absolute silence to my mind

It could not be the answer for much longer

So, I am rising.

Slowly

Daily

Consciously

It isn’t easy to wipe myself clean of her – but I am on the right path and freedom will soon be near.

We’ve all been there.

The second you feel part of it all again

That moment of release

I can almost taste it

Almost…

Tags : Personal Blog
Vera
Vera Sweeney, mom, blogger, social media influencer and New York resident, is the founder of LadyAndTheBlog.com. She is considered one of the top female digital influencers in today’s social media space. Her lifestyle and parenting brand helps busy women stay on top of the latest trends in fashion, food, family and travel.