Daily Diary: When You Finally Realize You Are No Longer In Control
I’ve written and rewritten this story 4 times already because I don’t know how to word this post. My stress revolves around the fact that my daughter is growing up and making decisions that go against my better judgement. This post is about me coming to terms with that… and how difficult that truly is.
Natalie is very easily swayed. She is still so very young-minded and doesn’t fully understand the long term consequences of all of her decisions – both small and large. I, on the other hand, have time on my side. I know what the end of her path looks like and it is not one that she’ll want to walk.
But what do I do? Do I drive her crazy by filling her head with all these social rules she’s too young to understand? Or do I just let her write her own story? I feel like I am driving her mad. Her brain can’t process what I’m saying and I think I’m just making things worse. One thing is guaranteed: this is doing nothing for her self esteem.
So, I think I’m just going to stop. I think I’m just going to let my little 10 year old be. My mother gave me ZERO social advice when I was young and it all worked out ok. I think that’s where I need to be right now… very far away from this all.
I know she could be doing different things – but in the end – she’s happy right now and I have to remember that. All of this drama, is my STUFF – not hers. I don’t want to make her childhood a psychological disaster. Women have to carry enough scars throughout their lives. I definitely don’t want to add to her batch – not my baby girl.
Deep breath… and release.
For a control freak, this isn’t easy. But I know it’s one of the most important things I will ever do for my little angel. I need to let go.