Hi. I’m Vera And I’m Addicted To The Internet
(image posted on Reddit)
The last two weeks I’ve spent on the Internet have really shaken me to the core. Such nonsense is happening. Infidelity. Lies. Cover ups. Scandals. The Presidential Election. I mean… don’t even get me started on that one!
I guess I’ve become hyper sensitive to it all. We are all in each other’s business. We are all in bed with one another. We are all “invited in” so to speak. And because so, there feels like there is this access and permission to share and to judge.
I already spoke about the judgement. But now I want to talk about the sharing.
I’m friends with a lot of people on Facebook. Why? Because when I first started blogging, I used my private Facebook page as a FAN page. I didn’t separate the two. I didn’t even know that you could. So I have almost 5,000 friends – most of which I don’t actually know. OK, almost all of which I don’t know. I probably literally know about 1,000 of them thanks to blogging – but even those relationships are not entirely personal.
My feed is filled with so much of … nothing. And I lead the band on that one.
Laundry done! Phew! Onto the floors!
Huh… why on EARTH did I have to post that?
Amazing breakfast. Obsessed with bacon. Bacon, you are my best friend.
Um. Ok. I have a problem. I recognize that, but does everyone need to know what I ate this morning?
Something happens and I grab my phone to write an update. Or better yet… I step out of what is happening to write about what is happening thus… REMOVING MYSELF from the actual event.
OMG THIS IS SO AMAZING (as I type this not looking at what is happening because I am too busy making sure all of you know that this is happening to me).
I went to a wedding the other day with some people I grew up with and 10 out of 10 people at our table had their phones out at ONCE at one point. We haven’t seen each other in years. We were screaming at first. Hugging! Shouting! Lifting! Walking down memory lane. But as soon as we settled… it was over. Phones came out and we needed to connect like a drug.
What were we saying that was so important? What were we searching for on our friend’s feeds that couldn’t wait? Why do we need to know what everyone else is doing right now? Why can’t we just live in our own moments? What have we become?
I am afraid of what we have become. And if I’m being honest with you all – I’m afraid for our children.
I want to put the phone down. I want to disconnect and unplug and all that jazz but I am an addict. A social media addict. And you know what? I’m not saying that in a funny way. I think I actually mean it. I think I am really addicted to the online world. I’m not sure I could ever fully step away.
The other day I considered unfollowing everyone on my Facebook feed. How crazy is that? Not the people that I don’t really know. I was going to unfollow my friends – like my real life friends. I thought it would break my habit – cut the cord. If I couldn’t see their updates then I wouldn’t feel the pull, right? Isn’t that how it works? But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Still thinking about it though. I’m really close. LIKE THIS CLOSE to doing it because something has to give.
My family needs their mother back.
I work alllllll day. I work (and I’m going to say it again) alllllllll day. When I finish my work day, I shouldn’t look at a screen for the rest of the night!! I should just be with my kids. But I can’t just be with my kids because I have to see what’s happening on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook and Reddit. Even if it’s just to find out what everyone had for breakfast. How ridiculous!! Addiction.
I don’t know the solution but I know there’s a problem.