Personal Blog

Daily Diary: A Death That I Just Can’t Shake

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Robin Williams – we all heard the news by now. I cried last night in bed as I tried to fall asleep. Not because I knew him because obviously I didn’t. But because he spent so much time making us all laugh even though he was hurting inside. And I guess I understood that. That facade.

Put on a happy face.
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy,
It’s not your style;
You’ll look so good that you’ll be glad
Ya’ decide to smile!

I hate that song. Because it has that “sweep it under the rug” mentality that is the foundation to suicide. I have two friends that committed suicide. You probably didn’t know that because I don’t talk about these sort of things, but they are real.

So Robin – despite all his comedy and all his humor and all his smiles –  was really sad and lonely. I’m not surprised. I’m really not. I’m utterly depressed by it all… but I’m not surprised. I ache for him and for his family.

I can’t write much more about this because I am crying again and I don’t have it in me to do this for another day. I am not someone who can just switch emotions. A bad day is a bad day and nothing can really turn it around. So, at 8:40AM, I am going to try to shake it off and not dive in too deep.

But Robin – you will be missed and you will always be remembered. And our loss is a great one.

Thank you for giving yourself to us all. Thank you for making me laugh and for making my children laugh. And thank you for letting us be a part of your life.

Vera Sweeney, mom, blogger, social media influencer and New York resident, is the founder of She is considered one of the top female digital influencers in today’s social media space. Her lifestyle and parenting brand helps busy women stay on top of the latest trends in fashion, food, family and travel.

1 Comment

  1. I feel much the same way, really hit hard by this. I guess because it really proves that you never know how someone is truly feeling. A big smile or laugh does not prove inner happiness and peace. He will be missed greatly, it just seems unreal.

    A few years ago, I had a miscarriage (one of many). A ‘friend’ at the time, basically told me that it was God’s will and that I needed to just let it go and be happy with my blessings. The implication was that I wasn’t being a Good Christian by grieving. I called bs on that, and her, and dropped that friendship. I get so tired of the “put on a happy face” mentality that our society encourages to the point of ignoring mental health issues (be it temporary sadness over a bad situation or true depression). Enough Already!


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