Today is the last day of school for my kids. I’m still in Nantucket rounding out a press trip. Mom guilt is sinking in and suffocating me as we SPEAK… err… type. I keep refreshing my husband’s Facebook page for photos, but he’s not the kind of guy to take lots of pictures unless I tell him to.
And of course I forgot to tell him to yesterday because I was busy running around like a crazy person on this trip. I had every intention to email him last night but I got SLAMMMMMMMEEEEEDDDDDD with a MEGA migraine after dinner. I ended up having to take two pills which I NEVER EVER DO. I got out of bed around 3AM to take another one of my Relpax because the inside of my head felt like it was going to split in half. I haven’t had one that bad in quite some time. I think the combination of sun plus lack of water plus lack of caffeine did me in yesterday. WHERE IS STARBUCKS???!!!
Maybe I’ve been doing a little too much lately. I’ve been running around like crazy – all good things don’t get me wrong. But I guess I need a little reminder that it is OK TO JUST DO NOTHING EVERY NOW AND THEN. You know… just sit on the couch and maybe watch a TV show with the kids. It doesn’t always have to be so insane.
Today I put on this heart monitor tracking system (which I will write about later) and just standing STILL and waiting around my heart rate was 107. Is that crazy or what? I live in a state of crazy. I need to do so many things – like calm down and take better care of myself. Number 1 and Number 2.
People were like… were you running around?
Um. No. I’m just standing here and my heart is acting like I’m jogging in place. PS when I did jog it shot up to like 150 which means I am SO FREAKING OUT OF SHAPE. But hey, that’s no secret or surprise. We all know I don’t have that as a priority in my life. Though as I age… I suppose I should.
Lots of lessons surrounding me. Lots of self awareness happening. But will I do anything about it? Or will I just keep swimming along?
What do they say? First step is acceptance, right? I suppose I accept that a change needs to happen.
Did I mention that I missed the last day of school. So sad. My kids are all excited and hopefully with friends celebrating. Though I doubt Bill set something up like that. If I was home this week, I would have had a little party for their close friends at the house. What are they doing right now? I’m afraid to know. Because if I call and hear that they are all just sitting around the living room I think I will cry. So, I rather not know. I rather just pretend that something great was set up by my husband. Something that I would have done.
** Update: I called and my husband was working in the kitchen while the kids were playing in the living room. 🙁